first poem, part of this is contained in "My Last Post for My Brother"
as is on YouTube with some the history on screen:
as is on YouTube with some the history on screen:
free download available on SoundCloud:
Original poem in Afrikaans came almost two years after my brother was shot death.
I was tormented, lost, I even had hate in me for the murderer, thought to visit the area, find him and kill him. Until one afternoon as I was preparing to write some articles for my column at the newspaper I worked for. I already had paper in the typewriter and as I was about to begin typing, tis flood washed over me, bringing the truth of what a murderer is, showing me the actual face.
I HAD PEACE
I knew that my Brother would have wanted me to have peace, he knew the truth of what was happening - he had full understanding and empathy.
For many years I never wanted to hear the last signal ever again.... I hated the sound of screaming brass, as I'd call trumpets, bugles and such. While I was composing the original theme of "Bloedoffer aan Wraak, the last signal kept coming in, it almost killed me so painful it was. Until July last year, some days before that terrible terrible cold Winter night of 7 July 1990 when my Brother died in the first hour at Nyanga, Cape flats, South Africa.
I got onto my computer and began putting the sounds together, and allowed the last Signal.
I HAD PEACE AGAIN
BLOEDOFFER
AAN WRAAK (English following)
Hartseer
rus in die oë
van ‘n refleksie
waarna ek staar
wanneer woedemonsters gaan lê
en verslaentheid kan nie sê
wie gaan almal na dese vrede hê.?
My hart
ween met seer:
o my broer
moes ook boet
vir die skynbeeld se bedrog.
en baie ander slaap nog,
onwetend van Magog
Magte speel in drome roulette
en dromer wen ‘n bose spel
wat vir hom reg en goed lyk.
Die illusie versterk
en sin beswyk
terwyl sy ware beeld ook verder wyk.
‘n Skynbeeld wat die dromer bedrieg
wie antwoorde soek en antwoorde kry
van iets wat nie bestaan,
en elkeen stort sy traan
wanneer die skynbeeld wel weggaan.
Die dolle
gejaag
in ‘n
rigting wat verwyderd is
van die doel
waarna menswees eintlik wil.
Hy trap skeef
en hy gil
uit teen magte wat hom kul.
Die vrede-waters spoel,
maar spoel verniet.
Siele rus nie,
antwoorde is weg,
van die mens afgeneem
en hy is heeltemal vervreemd
van die
waarheid sisteem.
Leeg van vrede en vol van haat
het bose mag hom nou geskep
en die siel gaan verloor.
O mens, jy moet my kreet hoor
voordat jy nog verder verloor.
Eens het ek ook gedroom –
die spel gewen goed en reg
met «tasbare» illusie klaar soos kristal.
Maar wakker
word was wreed en mal!
Bloed vloei
uit my oë toe skote knal.
Nooit sal ek
vrede verloën
en met bloed vir
bloed
vrees skep,
en daarmee magte
dien
wat dood bring.
BLOOD SACRIFICE TO REVENGE
Sadness rests in the eyes
of a reflection at which I stare
when anger monsters go down.
And defeat
has no words,
who may still have peace after it has passed?
My heart cries out pain,
my Brother paid his blood
for this phantom’s fraud.
and many are still sleeping
unaware of Magog
Powers play in dreams roulette
and dreamer wins an evil war
which seems true and great.
The illusion strengthens
and sense fails
while the true vision also fades.
A phantom that cheats the dreamer
who searches answers
and finds answers
of that which does not exist,
and each shed a tear when the phantom disappears
The mad race follows a course
away from the purpose
which mankind wants.
He stumbles
and curses
the powers
that rule him.
Waters of
peace wash
but all in
vain.
Souls are
troubled,
no answer
can be found
it has been
taken from man
and he is
left in the dark,
away from
the light of truth.
Empty of
peace and full of hatred
evil forces
made him now
and the
soul will loose.
Mankind,
hear my call
before you
loose it all
I also dreamed
That I’ll win a fair game
realistic, an illusion as clear as crystal.
Waking up was a horror that threw me down
Blood flowed from my eyes at the bullet’s sound.
I shall not betray peace,
draw blood for blood
and create fear
and serve forces
that bring death.
Dawn Els (AUTHOR)
©COPYRIGHT DAWN ELS
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